theNewerYork Press

WHAT THE HELL?

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We publish experimental literature in print and online. We post stories and art here every day. Go to theNewerYork.com to find more weirdness.

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"When we tell the story of a relationship, we, and it, are judged by what we omit. By design, by ignorance, or just because there are only so many pages and so much time, the blank spaces tell a story every bit as true, as rich, and as important as the print marks meandering through them. Acknowledging that truth, Evie and Guy is the history of a relationship told through the white space of the protagonists’ most solitary act. It comprises simply of the dates, times, and duration in seconds (bracketed where the act was interrupted or unclimactic) of every act of masturbation in their lives."

theNewerYork’s not chronological, nor any sort of logical, history of man.

Do they believe in democracy? Only if you are white, land-owning, and have a penis. (Greeks/1865 USA)
Do they believe in democracy? No, make them. (Since McCarthy I guess)
Do they believe in democracy? Yes and we need that freedom. (African people, last 150 years)
Do they believe in democracy? No, but we do need some money. (African leaders, last 150 years)
Do they believe in democracy? Yeah, too bad the king doesn’t. (Medieval)

Does he believe science over religious doctrine? No, he is simply stating the facts. (Darwin)
Does he believe science over religious doctrine? Um, they are kind of the same thing. (Greeks)
Does he believe science over religious doctrine? Yes, don’t you? (Match.com)
Does he believe science over religious doctrine? Perhaps, lets just lock him up until he dies. (Galileo)
Does he believe science over religious doctrine? One doesn’t believe science, imbecile (Dawkins)
Does he believe science over religious doctrine? Uh, they are the same thing. (Tom Cruise)

Does he fuck men? Tie him to the stake and burn him. (Most of history)
Does he fuck men? Yes, but it is only to thank him for intellectual stimulation because we haven’t yet medicalized sexuality enough to believe there is any great difference between the many sorts of physical romance. (Greeks)
Does he fuck men? Yes, give him a TV show. (About 8 years ago)
Does he fuck men?Yeah but he is too afraid to tell anyone. (SNAFU)

Do you like music or poetry? Um, they are sort of the same thing (Greeks)
Do you like music? Yay. (Elizabethan)
Do you like music? Yes. (Today)
Do you like music? Maybe. (Future)
Do you like music? Totally. (1960s)
Do you like music? No. (Jurassic)

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